But It’s My Turn!

Positive Parenting Series – Week 2: Sharing versus Taking Turn

Read Week 1: Parenting From the Heart here

If you’re like me, and the several other moms reading this blog, then you’re likely a millennial, raising kids. That means you’ve been raised with a lil old school parenting – do as I say, and not as I do – mixed with a little new school parenting – tell me what you think about that. And if you’re REALLY like me, then you had one parent who was old school and one parent that was new(er) school, but that’s beside the point.

As for my husband and me, we’re a blend of the old and new school. I prioritize my son’s thoughts, feelings, and desires over traditional parenting. When I was growing up, it was always, “share your toys, share your books, share your supplies” and rarely did I ever have a say in the matter. At the time, it didn’t seem like a big deal and even know, I don’t think that’s the wrong way to handle it. However, about two years ago, I was introduced to a better way for children to handle disputes over toys: encourage children to practice taking turns instead of teaching them how to share.

two toddler girls playing, one has a stuffed whale and the other has a stuffed dinosaur
Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

Well, what’s the difference? Most often, adults create arbitrary rules to decide when, where, and how children should share. “You can play with the ball for five minutes and then you need to give it to your friend.” Children, especially younger children, struggle with this because they lack the concept of time. This method also requires children to abruptly end a task, which can be incredibly challenging and frustrating even for adults.

Instead, encourage children to take turns. This looks like teaching children to say, “You can play with the ball after I’m finished.” or “Not right now. I’m playing with the toy.” This fosters autonomy, self-regulation, problem-solving, and a few other skills that children will need as they learn and grow.

What do I do if my child (or the other child) doesn’t want to take turns? Honestly, that’s a loaded question and the answer will depend on a variety of factors. There may be times when you, the parent, the adult, will have to step in. This is, however, a great time to help your child strengthen their problem-solving skills. “What else can you do while your friend is playing with the ball?” or “Would you like to play with the cars until it’s your turn to play with the ball?”

Won’t taking turns make the other child feel bad? Samantha Radford, PhD of Evidence-Based Mommy put it best: “I do NOT expect one child to do for another just because the one expresses painful feelings.  I have explicitly told [my children] that they don’t owe anyone anything just because that person is sad or mad, and as they get older, I will continue teaching this lesson in more specific situations.

So mommmas, what are your thoughts? Do you teach sharing or taking turns? Does it really make a difference? Let me know in the comments and check back next week for Positive Parenting Series – Week 3: Time-outs, time-ins, and cool downs.

Read Week 1: Parenting From the Heart here

Monday Notes: Parenting from the Heart

What a beautiful blog post to kick off my four-week, Positive Parenting series. I hope you all enjoy this post, “Parenting From the Heart” by K E Garland.

K E Garland

When my youngest daughter, Desi was about nine years old, I volunteered to read How the Grinch Stole Christmas to her third-grade class.

That afternoon, I thought her teacher was going to introduce me. She didn’t. Instead, she pointed toward the chair and asked the students to sit “crisscross applesauce” and listen to me.

I sat. I read. I left.

Desi was a bit miffed.

“How come you didn’t say you were my mom?” she asked later that night.

“So, you wanted me to say, ‘Hi everyone! I’m Desi’s moooom?’” I exaggerated.

“Well, not like that. Maybe just tell them in a regular voice.”

Immediately, I knew what happened. It wasn’t just her teacher’s fault that no one knew who I was. It was mine. My oldest daughter, Kesi would’ve never wanted her friends to know I was her mom coming to read to the class. But Desi was different…

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Should I Take a Family Vacation During COVID?

Imagine traveling to the store with a two year old and a four year old on a Saturday. Now take whatever vision you have in your head and amplify it times five. Then throw a virus in there… that you could get by touching things… or being within 6 feet of another human… in a space where you are sitting smushed together like sardines. Scary right?

Continue reading “Should I Take a Family Vacation During COVID?”

What the Heck Was That?! | A Quick Recap of the Past Year

Seriously?! What the heck was 2020? Viral pandemic, masks, lockdown, no toilet paper (was that an issue everywhere, or just the US)? Although we’re not in the clear JUST yet, the end if definitely in sight. I can’t believe it’s been a year and some change since the world was snatched by the collar and shaken upside-down. It seems as though nothing has changed, yet we’ve made incredible progress in this period of time.

Continue reading “What the Heck Was That?! | A Quick Recap of the Past Year”

All Good Things Must Come To An End

I’ve been avoiding this post for a long time, but it’s finally time. The era of Jae Mommma is coming to an end. It’s just time. I’ve been half-heartedly managing this blog, but you all deserve more. If you’d like to keep up with me and the future of Jae Mommma, follow my personal Instagram: @freetobejazzy. 🧡 This blog will be available until February 18, 2022. Because I know this content is meaningful and can help mothers through difficult times, it will be rebooted in another space in due time.

I’m experiencing a shift in my life and unfortunately, Jae Mommma as it shows up today, isn’t joining me in my next phase. To reiterate, this is not the end of my relevant, relatable content. Think “transfiguration.”

I’m thankful for every like, share, comment, and save. Every encouraging word and piece of advice. 💛

Thank you.

Until next time, Jaz

Montessori ABCs

Can you believe that we’ve been stuck inside for almost five months? I can’t believe it either. Aside from possibly contracting the virus, there are millions of other things that have been consuming my thoughts. The main thought that keeps me up at night is my son’s development –mental, social, emotional, psychological, etc. But this is nothing new.

little brothers using laptop on bed

I also wonder if our days are filled with enough stimulating activities. So, instead of wondering, I decided to do something about! I’ve put my creativity (and very expensive Master’s degree) to work and created Montessori Toddler ABC Conversation Starters!

This is just part one in a series of homeschooling resources I plan to create. If you like this product and would like to see more, just drop me a comment! I can also accept CashApp payments if that’s easier for you. Email me at jaemommma@gmail.com and I’ll get the file to you!

As always, thank you for your support!